My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Randomize
