I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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