Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
