I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
