Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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