doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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