Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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