You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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