return my video game
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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