You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
