is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just googled if crying burns calories
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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