Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
