I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
