Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
