its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I love you.
Bad choice
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
