I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
