READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
