So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
