Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
