just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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