Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just google imaged poop.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
