Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
