She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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