It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
