pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
bring money and cleavage
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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