i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
