rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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