So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
