he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
40s are totally the cure
I think my nap took me to another dimension
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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