I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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