just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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