So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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