You work out of a Hotel?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
