its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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