dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
