We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This is my gift to your gina
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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