Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
