i think my mom watched the whole time
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You were trust falling into bushes
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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