I will die if light touches me.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
