Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
