wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
