Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
