i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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