Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
honey bunches of taint.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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