Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
