like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
