yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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