Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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