Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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