worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
