Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
