Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
