I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize