im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize