You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He passed out mid-signature
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
