im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
