i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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