Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
