Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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