i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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