so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
